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Original Source of this article: Ruth Davis’ OC Blog , https://ruthrdavisblog.wordpress.com

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What I want you to know about healing sexual abuse

What I Want You to Know is a series of reader submissions. It is an attempt to allow people to tell their personal stories, in the hopes of bringing greater compassion to the unique issues each of us face. If you would like to submit a story to this series, click here. Today’s guest post is by MicheleGrace.

What I want you to know…
When a predator stalks an animal and the animal gets away,
the natural reaction is shaking to release the trauma.
That shaking happens when you are ready to remember….

Where am I in judgment of you for remembering the trauma and speaking your truth?

Where am I in judgment of me for telling my story?

The first time…

Panting and smelling the stink of stale beer on his breath, he pushes me up against the cold basement wall jabbing his hand in my panties.

“Good girls don’t tell. Good girls don’t tell.”

I leave my body behind…then

I’m suddenly running towards the light, up the basement stairs, pushing on the screen door, every cell screaming I’ve got to get away! Feeling him coming up quickly behind me. Cloaking energy.

I am around 3-years old. Good girls tell the truth.

Except I tell and my mouth is washed out with soap.
“Good girls don’t tell.”

When I remember (first of many) and trust my knowing… I hear

“You’re wrong.”

“That didn’t happen.”

“You’re making it up.”

“You’re crazy.”

My sweet body knows. After ten years of trying I am pregnant two weeks after he dies.

My sweet body knows. Holds the memory until I’m ready to remember. Those times when my shoulder and arms lock up…when the cold runs through my back, when the shaking happens for no apparent reason.

My sweet body knows. Once I remember….that memory dissolves, my shoulders never lock up again.

Healer arise.

I’ve been in it all week. Triggered. By the hurricane, by the news.

Waking up in the middle of the night, skin crawling…coming out of my body, jumping when touched…knowing it’s PTSD and working the tools I’ve gathered.

Crying. Shaking. Knowing. Trusting. Journeying. Coming back to center.

When a predator stalks an animal and it gets away,
the natural reaction is shaking to release the trauma.
That shaking happens when you are ready to remember.

Many of us are shaking and quaking.
Shaking off the shackles of doubt.
Shaking off the bullshit that we heard.
Shaking off the trauma.
Shaking off.

Sharing the truth.
Enough is enough.
The Reckoning with shame that was never mine.
It was never yours.

A fierce rage is rising in women,
an ancient power that’s arising within us and around us.
I thought I was alone. There are so many stories.

Truth is rising.

Protect the children.
Protect the women.
Protect the earth.
Protect the water.

We’ve fucking had enough of the bullshit that created this,
it’s ancient, it’s sticky, it’s murky, dark and dank.

Listen to what’s being shared. Don’t look away. Tell the truth. Use your voice. Sing your soul stories.

Opting-in to be in right relationship with all the beings.

Is not to single out one group and making them wrong.
Is not to take the rights of one group to benefit another.
Is not about building walls.
Barriers down. Barriers down. Barriers down.
We are better than this…

What if this is the time to embrace the pain and suffering, the unconsciousness that created this with love.

We all are part of this choir, let’s tend to each other.

Align with compassion.
Align with vulnerability.
Align with the shaking off.


Source Link: What I want you to know about healing sexual abuse


Original Source of this article: Ruth Davis’ OC Blog , https://ruthrdavisblog.wordpress.com

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Original Source of this article: Ruth Davis’ OC Blog , https://ruthrdavisblog.wordpress.com

Friday Finds: For New Moms

1. Pink and Mocha | Hugaboo
2. Charlie Mocs | Jack & Lily
3. Bomb Like Mom t-shirt  | Scout and Indiana
4. Fringed Swaddle Set | Woombie
5. Vegan Sunscreen | Nature’s Gate
6. Nursing Scarf | SholdIt
7. Jesse Diaper Backpack | Cheeky Tummy
8. Ladies Man Set | Children’s Place
9. Clean Key Animals | Kleynimals

10. Booster Car Seat | BubbleBum
12. Baby Shampoo & Wash | Nature’s Gate
13. Wood Teething Rattle | Finn + Emma
14. Kaya Mocs | Jack & Lily
15. New Nook Highchair | Joovy
16. Shorts | Finn + Emma
17. Booster Seat | Kaboost
18. Junkie | BubbleBum


Source Link: Friday Finds: For New Moms


Original Source of this article: Ruth Davis’ OC Blog , https://ruthrdavisblog.wordpress.com

Odds and Ends

bon-se

1. This woman sees 100 million colors, and she created a lipstick line. Very cool. (Sadly, they aren’t green/clean.)

2. If women wrote men the way men write women. Brilliant.

3. This really hit a nerve.

4. And I suppose this will hit many of yours. (I’ve never had a pet, so I have no opinion on the matter.)

5. “Issues in your tissues.” I had an intense emotional release this week during my yoga practice.

6. Now I get it! I never realized this about Lady Gaga’s Bad Romance single.

7. Always love Martha Beck. Great read on conquering depression, pain, and addiction.

8. I’m pretty sure I would break both of my ankles in an attempt to wear these pretty heels.

9. Okies! Be sure to read up about the state ballot questions! Will we actually get alcohol in grocery stores LIKE THE REST OF THE WORLD?!

10. This is the reality of Trump supporters. A child in a gas chamber? My God.

11. How to raise kinder, less entitled kids according to science. I like science.

Happy Friday to you all. Hope you enjoy your weekend.

image credit: bon.se

The post Odds and Ends appeared first on whoorl.


Original Source of this article: Ruth Davis’ OC Blog , https://ruthrdavisblog.wordpress.com

Giving kids agency at birthday parties

This post was sponsored by Monster High
When my kids were small, I would scour Pinterest and blogs for inspiration for their birthday party decor. I would relish themes like “whimsical tree fairy party” or “hot pink chevron.” (Don’t judge. I’ve been a parent for over a decade and there are side effects. Chevron prints were big back then.)
Thankfully, my kids caught wind that parties could be themed after their favorite characters and they saved me from my Pinterest problem. And, I realized that the right thing to do was honor their request and let them have some agency over their own parties. From time to time, this has resulted in some “interesting” choices, especially with The Twins and their different personalities, but the important thing is that my kids are happy. (And, by the way, it’s a lot less work.)
This year, India chose a party theme from one of her favorites: Monster High. I have to say, I was really impressed.
As India grows older and approaches junior high, I know friendships can become more difficult to navigate and she’s learning so much so fast. So, I really appreciate that the dolls she loves are all about embracing kindness, accepting others, and celebrating what makes each of them unique. Monster High recently released an exclusive Lady Gaga doll, beneItfitting a charity working toward empowering kids to build a kinder and braver world, further demonstrating their commitment to making a safe place for everyone. A product that has inclusive messages at its heart, combined with bold, expressive individualism is great fit for our family.
For me, the hot pink and black color scheme appealed to my Pinterest-Chevron-loving side, and they had a wide variety of adorable decorative accessories, ready to use right out of the box from Party City.

I loved the table centerpieces and the party guests were big fans of the cute hair extensions – a perfect “goody bag” alternative because these girls can wear them again and again.
Keeping the October celebrations alive, the girls continue to rock their birthday party outfits — a really fun option for Halloween. I love how they’re just a little bit creepy, but also totally cute.

I’m also a fan of the hours and hours of cooperative play this Monster High school set, an early birthday gift, has bought us. If you have kids in the 6-12 range and are looking for something that will really occupy their attention, this playset is amazing. The proof:



It’s been a month of  scary-cute fun and I suspect it will continue, as we will be rounding out their Monster High collection with some surprises under the Christmas tree.

How about you: How do you encourage your kids to celebrate who they are and what they love at birthdays and beyond?


Source Link: Giving kids agency at birthday parties


Original Source of this article: Ruth Davis’ OC Blog , https://ruthrdavisblog.wordpress.com

#TBT: Ethical and fair-trade candy ideas for Halloween

On Thursdays, I post from the vault. This is from October 2014

Did you know that most commercial chocolate companies are relying on child labor to source their cocoa? The low-down is here . . . but in a nutshell a BBC documentary revealed that child labor and even child trafficking is rampant in chocolate production, and that chocolate from most mainstream candy companies can be traced back to farms employing (and even buying) children to work in dangerous conditions.

For our family, the response to learning this has been to limit our chocolate purchases to fair-trade chocolate. Buying fair-trade is the best way to ensure that chocolate has been ethically sourced, and it also sends a message to mainstream chocolate companies that there is consumer demand for Fair Trade Certified chocolate (which is ultimately what will lead to change). Buying organic is reportedly another way to ensure that your chocolate wasn’t produced by exploited children due to the checks on labor practices organic certification requires. Additionally, organic producers often receive higher payment for their goods than those who don’t use organic methods.

The best sources I’ve seen for a variety of socially conscious Halloween shoppers are the Global Exchange Fair Trade Store and the Natural Candy Shop. But since Halloween is just around the corner, here are some ideas for things you might be able to find at local stores, or that you could purchase from Amazon with 2-day shipping. Also, if you are lucky enough to live near a Trader Joe’s, they have a great selection of organic and fair-trade chocolate.

Yummy Earth makes lollipops and other candies that are gluten-free, peanut-free, tree nut-free, and contain no type of corn syrup. A huge 5-pound bag of lollipops is under $30 and available for 2-day shipping on Amazon.

These minty chocolate squares are what we’re handing out this year (that is, if I can stop eating them first.) Made of fair-trade chocolate, a large box is available on Amazon with 2-day Prime shipping.

Yummy Earth makes great organic candies including Sour Beans, Fruit Snacks, and Gummy Worms. (We are passing out the sour beans this year and they are SO good.) They are all natural; gluten-free; egg-free; soy-free; nut-free; peanut-free; casein-free, with no artificial dyes. A large bag of mini treats is only $16.99 on Amazon, available with 2-day shipping.

Endangered Species Organic Dark Chocolate Bug Bites come in a 64-count box perfect for Halloween treats. These .35oz. pieces are made with organic-certified, shade-grown, ethically traded dark chocolate with 70% cocoa content. They can be ordered from Amazon using Prime 2-day shipping, or purchased at most local health food stores.

Clif’s organic Z-Bars for kids are a great healthier alternative to candy bars. They are available in most grocery stores, or on Amazon with 2-day Prime shipping.

Fruitabu has one serving of all-natural fruit per roll, made exclusively with real fruit puree and no added sugar, artificial flavors, preservatives, or colors. They can be purchased at most grocery stores or fromAmazon with 2-day Prime shipping.

Funky Monkey is made of freeze-fried fruit and is available at most local health food stores. They can also be ordered with 2-day Prime shipping from Amazon.com.

Justin’s peanut butter cups taste like the mainstream ones you know and love, but are made with ethical chocolate and available at most local health food stores or from Amazon.com.

If you aren’t ready to take the plunge with fair-trade or organic chocolate, you can always stick with mainstream candy without chocolate, like Mike and Ike’s or Hot Tamales. These are available at most grocery stores or on Amazon with 2-day Prime shipping.

These balls of fair trade chocolate are wrapped in foil depicting the earth. A 1lb. bag of Earth Balls can beordered from Amazon with 2-day shipping.

Sjaak’s Halloween orange bites have dark chocolate around a delicious orange interior. These cute little bites come individually wrapped and in a tub with about 93 pieces perfect for Trick or Treaters. They can be purchased for $33 from the Sjaak’s website.

Stretch Island Fruit Leather is made of real, organic fruit. A variety pack is only $18 for a 48-pack on Amazon.com (with 2-day Prime shipping.)

I do realize that fair-trade candy is quite a bit more expensive than the mainstream alternative. But again, I think we have to keep in mind — would we pay less for a product if a child was being abused to make it right in front of us? We’ve got to hold to the same standards for the treatment of children, no matter where they live.


Source Link: #TBT: Ethical and fair-trade candy ideas for Halloween


Original Source of this article: Ruth Davis’ OC Blog , https://ruthrdavisblog.wordpress.com